My mother and I have grown to have a pretty decent relationship. I respect her as a woman who just happens to be my mother and she respects me as a woman who just happens to be her adult daughter. We’re in a good place. Not only do I call her once a week, but I return her phone calls and I try to visit every month.
When you consider the fact that I have an older sister who keeps her at arm’s length and only communicates when it’s convenient for her and a younger sister she hasn’t seen or heard from in months; as far as I’m concerned, we are as close as any mother and daughter can be. In my family that’s not an easy task, but by all accounts we are thick as thieves.
I recently offered to take my mom and daughter out to dinner to celebrate my birthday. I know… it sounds a little backwards – I offered to take my mother and daughter out to dinner to celebrate MY BIRTHDAY. Funny enough, that didn’t bother me, however when she said “When is your birthday?!” That, on the other hand, shocked the hell out of me. I thought it was a joke. What mother forgets her child’s birthday?
I kindly remind her that it’s Wednesday, November 20. She then replies, “I don’t know why I forgot that your birthday is coming up.” I tell her not to worry about it, because she forgets every year. For several years now, I’ve been convinced that she is suffering from one of two possible conditions: selective memory or the early stages of dementia.
Then, believe it or not, without skipping a beat, she begins to recite the birthdays of all my siblings – she even started spouting off the birth dates of my cousins.
I became increasingly irritated, because I just invited her out to have dinner with me for my birthday and after noting all the important dates in history she still hadn’t given me a yay or nay. As you might expect, I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally said, “November 20 is my birthday and it’s the only day you need to remember right now!”
She laughed, and in an instance I realized something I have known for a while – I’ve been taken for granted. Then again, maybe she has a severe case of selective memory or she’s suffering from early stages of dementia. Who knows? I can tell you that it sucks when your Bestie, BFF, Road Dog or Ace forgets your birthday, but it hurts like hell when your mother does.
Don’t worry. I’ll get over it. I always do.
I’m Just Sayin’…(Damn!)