Nightmares on the Sideline – The Adventures of a Newb Sport Parent

I attended my first sporting event this weekend – not as a spectator or an athlete, but as a sport parent.

This year my daughter joined her school’s cross country team and made the cut for the varsity squad.  I couldn’t wait to see her run.  Actually I had no idea how much of a cross country “run” you could actually see. It’s a 3 mile course.

I was excited and nervous nonetheless. I imagine this was how the Jordans felt when they watched Michael play in his first basketball game.   What do you expect?  It was my first cross country meet and I wanted her to do well.

To have fun.
To be competitive.
To stick with’em.
To finish strong.


Oddly enough, her winning never crossed my mind.   It really didn’t.  Which is funny to me, because I think I was the only sport parent there that did not have winning on the brain.

I was not prepared to hear to fathers yelling at their daughters and I mean YELLING in a growl with the intensity to curl hairs~ the itsy bitsy teenie weenie fine hairs on your back.  And mothers who looked like they couldn’t walk 3 miles, more or less run 3 miles; coach from the sideline.

It was surreal; I thought it was a joke.
Are you kidding me?

I was totally out of my element and definitely out of my league.  My “Go baby!” “You can do it!” was amateur at best. These sport parents are friggin’ pros, but I was learning fast.  It was obvious, if you want/wanted your child to win

to be the best
to get press
to have bragging rights
then there is no other way; you have to scare the shit out of them. When someone creates a world where try has no definition and second place is just first loser you either win or you don’t.

The next meet is on Thursday then an invitational meet on Saturday, but I know better now and when you know better, you do better.  So I will definitely wear different shoes, because on the sidelines, as a sports parent, all you do is kick ass.

If these can’t kick ass, I don’t know what will.

Up until last Saturday, I thought Kicking and Screaming was just a movie.


I’m Just Sayin’…(Damn!)

4 comments for “Nightmares on the Sideline – The Adventures of a Newb Sport Parent

  1. September 10, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    Those are some serious shoes. You have made my truly terrified and dreading the day Animal plays sports. But at least I'll now what kind of shoes to wear.
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  2. September 11, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Yup. Sports are no joke. Parents are frickin nuts. I don't get involved in that nonsense. I just tell my kids to do their best.
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    • Jae_Mac
      September 11, 2013 at 9:52 pm

      I know I couldn't believe it. I guess some parents forget that the kids are trying their best. It's a shame that so many have the if you're not first your last mentality. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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