Because I Said So

We’ve all heard it and unless you were raised by wolves you’ve been told it.  As a parent, it’s inevitable you’ll say it.

Because I said so, African-American Mother scolding child

‘Because I said so’.

We learn in elementary school grammar that it’s a fragment, but most of us learn in the “home school of hard knocks” that it’s most definitely a complete sentence.  This isn’t to suggest that there is any type of abuse in the “home school of hard knocks”, but an acknowledgement that ‘Because I said so’ is sometimes the best answer you can give and the only reason a child may need or deserve.

‘Because I said so’, may even be applicable to some adults.

Simply put, every answer doesn’t warrant nor require a detailed explanation.  Although having a standard “Steady Freddy” response in your back pocket generally helps quantify your previous statement.
Sample Exchange:
You:  “Because I said so.”
Recipient:  “Why not?”
You:  “I don’t want to.”  or “I don’t want you to.”

Anything more than a simple explanation over complicates the dialogue and opens you up for debate and negotiation; you do not want to get into the weeds on why you made your decision.  From my experience, ‘Because I said so’ is typically used as an answer when trying to protect your child’s best interest or your own best interest when dealing with a compromising situation without having to show your entire hand.

‘Because I said so’ is a perfectly good reason for not doing or not allowing something.  Don’t back down.  Trust your instincts.   You will never knowingly advise your child or yourself to do anything wrong.  If you don’t care enough to protect their best interests or your own, no one else will.

It is important to note, that when overexposed or used inappropriately ‘Because I said so’ may become ineffective and over usage does not increase potency.  ‘Because I said so’ may produce side effects.  Use ‘Because I said so’ with care as some individuals may experience backlash and undesired changes in behavior.   Results based on the evaluation and testimonials of 5 individuals.  Results may vary.  As with all methods of treatment, consult a professional first.

The statements above have not been evaluated by ANYONE.  ‘Because I said so’ is not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat or cure ANY behavior.

I’m Just Sayin’…(Damn!)

4 comments for “Because I Said So

  1. October 8, 2012 at 1:14 am

    I think that when we say “because I said so” we’re really teaching a lesson about society. At some point we need to explain what that statement means. It means that there is a hierarchy, there are rules in families and in society. You don’t always have to know why, you don’t always have to agree. A privilege that comes with earning a higher spot is to be able to make some of the rules and to decide when to explain them and when to just expect compliance.

    • October 9, 2012 at 1:22 am

      Karen, I agree entirely. Some explanations are strictly on a need to know basis and it does draw an imaginary line in the sand. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I greatly appreciate it!

  2. October 8, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Karen’s reply sounds so eloquent and smart. I’m delirious from lack of sleep so the only comment I can make is that my famous reply is “because I freaking said so.” You gotta add the freaking in there if you really want your point heard.

    • October 9, 2012 at 1:45 am

      I’m quite sure I’ve had a couple “Because I freaking said so(s) as well. Which I’m quite sure someone replied that’s not a reason, and I said well it’s the only reason you’re getting. Whatever works…If they’re lucky, they’ll get their chance. It’s a beautiful thing.

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