Friends – 5 Reasons Why You May Need to Downsize

BFFs.  Best Friends Forever, is there really such a thing?
Every so often you should do a quality and maintenance check of those in your inner circle. After evaluation you will probably find 3 or 4 friendships that have run its course.  When this occurs you may need to downsize.  Choosing to sever ties in any relationship can become quite complicated and emotional, so the sooner you decide that it is time to part ways the better.

Many of us measure our worth based on the number of friends we have. Unfortunately, this is a learned behavior. Think back to your first few days of school. No one wants to be without friends, and I’m not suggesting that.

Downsizing Friends

Fortunately, the reasons to downsize your circle are usually obvious.

  1. You’ve fallen out of like.  Yep.  I said it and its okay.  It’s perfectly fine not to like a friend anymore.  You don’t need a reason why.  You simply thought something WAS but it WASN’T.  It may be time to downsize.
  2. He/She is a mooch.  Unless you like sharing everything without reciprocation, it may be time to downsize.
  3. He/She is rude and socially inept.  In the beginning you make excuses for their behavior; now you find their nuances and eccentricities a burden.  It may be time to downsize.
  4. Extraordinary high levels of emotional drama.   Friends often go through good times and bad times, but when the bad times become all time unless you genuinely care and don’t mind the roller coaster of their life; you may need to downsize.
  5. You have nothing in common.  This isn’t necessary a bad thing, but when you don’t return phone calls, texts and avoid this person like a plague; it’s safe to say this is not your friend.  It’s time to downsize.

Downsizing your inner circle is not an easy task and much care should be taken when doing so.  Whether you do it or not, it will happen.  Friends come in and out of our lives, some hang around a lot longer than others and some are closer than family.

I’m Just Sayin’…(Damn!)

Related Topics:
Let’s Be Friends

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14 comments for “Friends – 5 Reasons Why You May Need to Downsize

  1. July 24, 2012 at 4:24 am

    your posting is very good about friends 5 reasons why you may need to downsize

    • August 1, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      Obat thanks for reading & commenting. I appreciate it!

  2. July 25, 2012 at 9:54 am

    at first this sounds rude but I think you have points.

    you can still be friends with the others who you don’t really like but in different level. Maybe that’
    s why we have friends, special friends and best friend. my circle of friends is really small. But I’m glad i have my BFFs, they are my treasure.

    nice post!

    • July 26, 2012 at 8:02 pm

      Wordylilchacha,
      Thanks for your comments. When I was younger I was eager to have friends, the more the merrier. As I grow older, I realize it’s not the quantity but the quality and its okay to just have acquaintances. I’ve become more particular of those I call friend.

  3. July 29, 2012 at 1:38 am

    First off LOVE your blog name and thanks for following me. This post came right on time it’s a sad, but I have a few friendships that should have ended a long time ago.

    • July 29, 2012 at 7:22 am

      Thank you for reading & sharing your thoughts. After having downsize a few times, I try to be more selective when allowing someone in my circle. I guess friendship is a work in progress so someone allows slips through the cracks. I try to keep the slips few and far between.

  4. August 1, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I have just ‘downsized’ my friend circle and it actually feels really good. You’re left with friend who truly care and that’s more important than ‘just friends’, in my opinion.

    • August 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm

      Raquel – That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Hopefully you won’t have to downsize for awhile. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  5. August 2, 2012 at 6:56 am

    This is my first visit to your blog, which I read about over at http://weblogbetter.com/2012/07/23/promote-your-blog-at-weblogbetter-day. Thank you for a concise article on downsizing friendships. I used to put too much time and energy into friendships that were one-sided (if I didn’t call or ask to get together, it wouldn’t happen). Now, if I reach out to someone new and nothing happens after two attempts, I move on. I don’t try to force a connection.

    • August 2, 2012 at 6:28 pm

      Nicole – Thanks for reading and your comments.I think a lot of friendships start out one-sided, but like you said if you’re the only one reaching out it’s probably not meant to be. Why force it?

  6. December 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    #5 applied to an entire circle of friend by the time I delivered my baby. We tried to work it out, by my priorities changed while theirs didn’t. Some night i wish I could go out drink all night smoke a pack of cigarettes and damce all night, but then I remember how much I was over it in the first place… I love being a mommy and not a crazy twenty-something!

    http://www.firsttimemomanddad.com

    • December 7, 2012 at 3:48 am

      I went through the same thing too (all except the smoking part). I do not think I still associate with a single person I was “kicking it with” in my early 20s,except my husband, which isn’t a bad thing. My priorities changed and their’s didn’t so we eventually parted ways. Thanks for reading & commenting!

  7. August 27, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Your post really made me think. Thinking maybe it is time I downsize my list of friends, but considering they are mostly all mellow dramatic drama queens that'll likely leave me with none. Good thing I am pretty much okay with that LOL!
    My recent post Who are you?

    • Jae_Mac
      September 16, 2016 at 12:08 am

      Kimbra,, That is exactly what happened when I downsized. It's lonely at the top, but it's worth the peace of mind. Thanks for reading and taking the time to post a comment.

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